I'm Yours

You opened my eyes to show me the light
and You were the light
You opened my eyes to show me the way
and You were the way
You awakened my heart to sing
so now let me give You this offering

Take my soul, make it wholly Yours
Take my will, make it bend to Yours
Take my mind, make it think only of You
Take my strength, make it depend on You
Take all of my life and make it holy

There are places I've never seen
You will show to me
There are places I've never been
You behold for me
There are places I'll never know
but there's no place I wouldn't go

Take me, take me, take me now, I'm Yours

Sanctuary

I've done many things I'm not proud of
I may not deserve forgiveness and love
But if there's a way for a second chance
I'd do anything, meet any demands
Just free me from these daunting fears
Of rejection that's followed me all of these years
Each situation of impossible means
They get relived every night in my dreams
I need sanctuary -

Running away from my fears in the night
Blood on my hands from a murderous life
Mob chasing after me to make me pay
Won't someone please take this nightmare away

A thorn in my flesh, some people have said
The days I'd awaken and wished I were dead
They don't understand what a terrible fright
Or how it affect every day of my life
I've distanced myself from the cause of abuse
Temptation's called to me but I have refused
Curtains were drawn to expose hidden lies
But terror still haunts me when I close my eyes
I need sanctuary -

Running away from my fears in the night
Blood on my hands from a murderous life
Mob chasing after me to make me pay
Won't someone please take this nightmare away

I cried for sanctuary, Lord, and you heard my prayer
Clinging to the door for dear life, you met me there
You saw me broken, heart wide open, down on my knees
I need you Lord to overflow and sanctify me
I need sanctuary -

You give me peace in exchange for my strife
You give me joy and a new way of life
You give me love I could never deserve
More grace freely than I could ever earn

I cried for sanctuary and you gave it to me
Opened up the doors so that now in you I'm free

This is Heaven

So this is heaven, where I’m standing here today
surrounded by Your presence and walking in Your way
So this is heaven, the place where I belong
singing to Your rhythm, and lost within Your song
So this is heaven, to know that I’m thought of
to hear You singing over me, to feel Your endless love
So this is heaven, to just simply believe
filled with Your Holy Spirit who’s living inside me
So this is heaven, or at least it’s a small taste
Still I believe that heaven is an even better place
So this is heaven, to know You and to be known
to look back at my years of life and see how much I’ve grown
So this is heaven, to live out what I’ve heard
to hear Your voice speaking to me and hanging on every word

Lift Him Up

Don’t give up while you’re growing up. Keep your eyes focused on the light ahead. Don’t grow faint and weary-hearted. Grow strong in your devotion instead. It takes trusting in what remains unseen. It requires faith, hope and believing. But the greatest of all these is love as we praise and lift Him up.

It’s not by strength. It’s not by might, but it’s by my Spirit says the Lord. No eye has seen, no ear has heard all the great things He has in store. Only be strong and of good courage for you have not gone this way before. The day will come when all will be done and there won’t be tears anymore. So rejoice in Him. Abound in His love. The journey begins as we lift Him up.

Don’t grow weary in well-doing for in time you’ll reap if you do not faint. Don’t go fearing what you cannot see for nothing can harm you; you’re a well-armed saint. Don’t worry, the battle is the Lord’s. He’s paid for what we cannot afford. He’s driven out our enemies before, and He promises to do it once more for eternity. All we do is believe and walk in love, and lift Him up.

Charlie Beans

Charlie Beans is my new best friend
BFF's to the very end

There were days I'd wake up and I couldn't look myself in the eyes
Too afraid I'd break up from the shame of what I might have done last night
Too intoxicated to remember details of my last fray
But there's a tattoo on me that seems to say hip-hip-hooray
How could anyone, anyone ever live this way?

And I would hear Charlie, calling to me
I didn't recognize the voice, so I'd start drowning out the noise
How could I ever be, okay with someone like me?

Then one day I met him and my whole world was toppled upside down
Reflected in the faces of a group of new relations gathered 'round
Other scarred individuals with painful secrets openly revealed
Sharing how their wounds were deep, but by God's grace, they were being healed
How could anyone, anyone ever be the same?

And I would hear Charlie, calling to me
I didn't recognize the voice, but I quit drowning out the noise
Finally, it's time to be, okay with me, I'm Charlie

Charlie used to be a stranger, now he is my doppelganger
I used to be my own worst enemy, but now...I love me
Charlie Beans is my new best friend
BFF's to the very end

(This song is dedicated to the fellow members of "Write Your Own Story")

Jacqueline

Just as I hear your name
Aptly whispered on the breeze
Carried like a melody
Quietly hummed as a tune
Uniquely yours
Ever inspired
Lilt of imagination
Instrumental in creation
Noticing every inflection of
Extraordinary perfection

Time

Yesterday is old
Tomorrow may never come
Today begins something new
Take each moment one by one

The universe is timeless
One song without an end
But life on Earth is as a flash
So take account of the time you spend

This day is almost over
Before it has begun
So cherish every memory
Of your time spent having fun

Devote some time to listen
To the stillness in the air
Take every opportunity
To show someone how much you care

You're done before you know it
So get your butt in gear
Right now is your only chance
To make a difference while you're here

Like an Autumn Rain

Things that don’t seem right to the human mind
are his delight time after time
like an autumn rain on a summer’s day
or a winter wind in the month of May.

There’s a brightness shining on the darkest night
When everything seems wrong even though you’re right
and although you’re trying with all your might
and you think you’ve seen the light
it still won’t go your way.

There’s a fire burning in a rain soaked land
causing a desperate yearning in an empty man
tired of building castles in the sand
knowing they won’t stand
still you continue anyway.

And losing everything you’ve owned
to remind you of the simple truth you’ve known
you’ll keep falling short no matter how you’ve grown
you can’t do it on your own
still you fight through one more day

Things that don’t seem right to the human mind
are His delight time after time
Like an autumn rain on a summer’s day
or a winter wind in the month of May.

Love Song

I’m so grateful. You know I’m thankful
for all the beauty you’ve given me.
Although I’m needy, Lord you are with me,
making me all you’d have me to be.

There is no greater joy to ever fill my heart
than the wonder of your presence and everything You are.
Your mercy overflowing, the grace You offer free,
peace beyond understanding fills every part of me.

Here I am, send me. I give you the glory
for I am just a simple jar of clay.
But to reflect You in purity and truth
is how I choose to live my life.

I pray, “Let my life be a love song
as I live only to worship, praise and adore You,
and lift Your name up.
Lord, let my life be a love song."

Progress

I’ve heard the same words before. It’s a familiar message on a different day. I already know what’s in store. It’s only presented in a different way. So why must I listen time and again? How can these words determine what’s meant to be? It’s all the same story without an end. Will it ever change what’s within me?

I feel heartless and hopeless and helplessly lost – doomed to wander alone in the dark. I’m continually confused and left counting the cost, wondering why I keep missing the mark. So many things I don’t understand, like why I’m still falling further behind; and why I struggle to gain command of the battles I lose in my mind.

But thanks be to God in His infinite strength, even though I’m weak, tired and poor. His grace is sufficient. His mercy is great. His love has already won the war. So although they’re the same words I continue to confess, until I’m perfected, I’ll continue to progress.

It’s Not All About Me

How quick I make it all about me
How fast I crash when I’m too blind to see
You are all I need, You always will be
You are enough, You are more than enough for me

How my heart breaks apart when I realize
I try to fill my thoughts and my will with a glorious prize
But nothing compares with You , Your holiness shines through
You are enough, You are more than enough for me

Once again I am broken
Once again You have opened my eyes
Once again I’m shown that
I’ve been chasing emptiness and lies
Once again I repent of self-seeking
Once again I admit that I’m wrong
Once again You’re gently reassuring
You’ve been carrying me all along

Still how quick I make it all about me
When it’s really not about me at all
Once again I am humbled
Once again I fall
When I’m quick to make it all about me

Not About Me

It’s not about me; it’s all about you
Shining Your light in everything that I do
It’s all about me receiving Your love
So I can give freely without giving up
It’s not about me

You call me Your loved one; You call me Your jewel
You formed me and shaped me and made me Your tool
You’re all that I need; You gave me Your heart
And filled me with hope to see all that You are
Making me to be, but it’s not all about me

You make me aware of Your goodness and glory
You give me Your Word to proclaim Your story
Created in love for peace, grace and joy
To rest in the faith You alone employ
And reign sovereignty, so it’s not all about me

Forsaken

Oh the things we will forsake in the pursuit of happiness. What will we do for goodness’ sake? Instead we embrace this madness. Oh the people we will meet. How many will we ever know, or merely pass them on the street? Another game within the show. Oh the needs we walk on by when there are places we can serve. Do we stop or let them cry? Will we all get what we deserve? Oh the things we will forsake in these decisions that we make.

Yellow Flowers

Yellow flowers in the meadow
Celebrate the month of June
Serenading every fellow
Beckoning to join the bloom
Pollinating feverishly
Laying seed now fertilized
Unashamed by what the need be
Done before our very eyes

Taken captive on a blanket
Passion stirs to her reply
Prior strangers come together
Nothing can compare to it
Opened beneath a watchful sky
Yellow flowers forever

The Wrong Way

I can see the stress level rising
I can see the wheels in your brain grinding
I can see the answers you are finding
All point you the wrong way
The poor decisions that you make
Only serve to complicate
The situations that frustrate
And steer you the wrong way

I can see the fear lurking inside
I can see the pain you try to hide
I can see the anger is your guide
Leading you the wrong way
The not believing in yourself
Wanting to blame somebody else
The selfishness disguised as helps
It takes you the wrong way

You’re such a rebel without a clue
About the forces driving you
But you’re doomed to failure when you speed
The wrong way down a one-way street

You think you have life figured out
But gain is not what life’s about
The greater things you do without
When you go the wrong way
I won’t say which way is best
Because you listen to the rest
But eventually time will attest
That you go the wrong way

Reassurance

I know my hands are empty, I know my time is short
That is why I’m asking You, What am I living for?
I know these days are troubled, I know these hours are few
So I need reassurance, that what I know is true
You hold me so gently, every time I fall
And softly whisper to me, the meaning of it all

I AM – I AM
More than you can ever imagine, know or understand
And you are but an instrument, a vessel made of clay
To shine My light and share My love with whomever comes your way
I breathe on you and play a song of beauty in your life
So go my dear, move on from here, everything will be alright

Be Careful How You Pray

I asked Jesus for a rose garden, but I forgot to mention to omit the thorns. Now I’m wading through a sea of flowers with my clothes and skin hopelessly torn. How can I appreciate all the beauty surrounding when my joy is subjected to the pain that’s abounding?

Well be careful what you wish for and be careful how you pray
Be mindful what you ask because you might get it someday
And although I know you think you want it or have found a better way
Every blessing you encounter has its own price to pay

I asked Jesus for a new promotion since I didn’t have a dime. I knew I could make it. I thought I was ready; it was certainly about time. So I put in the hours, neglected my family, and filled my house with strife. They don’t understand, I have a plan for a bigger and better life.

Roses are sweet, but they need tending
Riches are neat, but they’re not everything
So make sure you remember before asking the Boss
There’s always surrender and counting the cost

Video of Life

I’m sorry I couldn’t be perfection in a bottle
My one wish was to live a life for you to model
If the hands of time went in reverse
I’d undo this deadly curse
And keep the bad from getting worse this time
But the video has no rewind

I’ve made mistakes for goodness sake
Don’t hold my sins against me
It’s bad enough that I messed up
They don’t deserve repeating
If I could make the wrongs all right
The lefts would all be left behind
Eventually I’m sure we’d find our way
The video has no pause or play

Cause life keeps rolling from the time it starts
And your life’s recording in your mind and heart
And there’s no push-buttons , no remote
Just a little light blinking on the lines you wrote
So you’d better keep reading the story of your life
You’re on video tonight

Fighting the Giants

“Why did you bring me out to the wilderness to die?”
I cried out to the Lord after my divorce.
I moved to the desert, literally and figuratively.
How long must I run in circles?
Won’t You please deliver me?
Two and a half years later (sure beats forty)
I embark on a mission to enter the promised land.
But this is not what I expected or what I thought it would be.
What’s with all the giants?
Where’s the milk and honey?
I find one crisis after another: finances, health, loneliness.
Where are the promises?
What are the promises?
Maybe I’m staring right at them without recognizing them.
Maybe they’re all around me, more than I’m willing to admit.
Maybe I don’t have the promises because the giants are all I see.
Maybe I just don’t realize You’re fighting the giants for me.

Gratitude

You get so caught up in what you have to do to survivethat you forget all about what you get to do to thriveYou don’t need to radically change your life You just need to change you perceptionDon’t wait until you have a million dollars to be happyBe thankful for the ten bucks you’ve got, or even for the ten cents you’ve got in some cases If you are grateful for what you already haveyou will be given moreIf you are not faithful over the little you already have you will not be given more

Whether you are hiding from your responsibilitiesbecause you dread the work, or making excuses for not doing what you know is rightor if you’re letting fear prevent you from stepping out in faithIf you’re not trusting Godyou’re not going to receive his blessingsYou must first believe that you are all you need to beTo do what you are called to doYou must first believe that you can do itBefore you will ever see the fulfillment of your dreams

Almost Like Being in Heaven

I’m not pessimistic. I’m just realistic.
Sometimes this life can get you down.
Not hallucination or imagination
His truth can turn your life around.
The glory and the lifter of my head
I choose to live my life for You instead.
I’m not sick and lazy. I’m not going crazy.
It’s okay if you just don’t understand.
I’m not a wandering dreamer, not a thieving schemer.
His way is always a perfect plan.
Redeemer, Savior, Dearest Friend,
I’ll follow you unto the end.
It’s almost like stars shining in the night
but it’s more like Your love shining in my life.
It’s almost like all of my dreams are coming true.
It’s almost like falling in love from the start
but it’s more like Your love raining down in my heart.
It’s almost like being in heaven when I’m with You.

Fill this Place

I want to see Your face, not only once in a while, but for Your love to fill this place. It’s not enough to seek You in the morning when I wake and as I go to bed each night when I kneel down to pray. I need You every moment of every day, so fill this place. And fill this heart with Your love so I can see others in need. And fill these hands with Your grace to match Your Word with my deeds. Fill these eyes with Your mercy. Fill this mind with Your hope. And fill this life with the presence that’s unmistakably Yours. Fill this place. I want to feel You move, not occasionally,but in everything I do. It’s not enough for me to go only when it’s convenient or to doubt the words You’ve spoken when deep inside I know You mean it. But I need You to lead me through in Your special way, so fill this place.

Carried Away

When all hope is gone and desires fade and your bright tomorrow has become your yesterday, When life marches on and you’re in the way and it goes on without you, there’s something you can say.

Lift your hands to the holy one, sing praise for all he has done, call on his name and get carried away, oh, sing praise and halleluiah, his grace is what lifts you up, above the storm, where it’s safe and warm, sing his praise, get carried away.

He promises us there will be days we’ll want to hide and run away, he knows our hearts, he knows our strength, he knows our thoughts, and he knows our ways, it’s no surprise, to him at all when we stumble, or when we fall, but there’s a chance, that pulls us through, when there’s nothing else that we can do.

We lift our hands to the holy one, sing praise for all he has done, call on his name and get carried away, oh, sing praise and halleluiah, his grace is what lifts us up, above the storm, where it’s safe and warm, sing his praise, get carried away.

When there’s nothing you can say, when there’s nothing you can do, to defeat the troubles of this world that are defeating you, when you’re broken down with no strength to carry on, then listen to these words and choose to sing along.

And lift your hands to the holy one, sing praise for all he has done, call on his name and get carried away, oh, sing praise and halleluiah, his grace is what lifts you up, above the storm, where it’s safe and warm, sing his praise, get carried away.

The Game

Faking smiles
Flashes and glimmer
Playing along and
Winning the game

Exceeding my wildest
Expectations of
Welcoming grandeur
Paving the way

Derailing values
Doubtlessly worthless
Proving the price of
Winding away

Caring for nothing
Caustic abandon
Willing to forfeit
Providing a chance

Beckoning hope for
Backward type thinking
Picking persuasion
Wondering why

Abetting the champion
About to take over
Withstanding the questions
Pondering life

The Rialto

The stage is empty, the shadows grow dark
Lines go unspoken, but still leave their mark
Silver spun cobwebs where curtains were drawn
No more performers, but the show must go on
Dim the lights of the house, strike up the band
Bring in the choir on my command
Ladies and Gentlemen: may we present
Me, the magnificent and heaven sent
Applause fills the room, the audience roars
They call out my name and cry out, “Encore!”
My incessant twirling stirs up the dust
And I’m soon reminded of the decay and rust
This sure was the theatre back in its day
Pardon my interruption, I’ll leave it that way

The Poem

Have you ever tried to write a poem
That takes on a life of its own
Meter won’t fall as you intend
It runs away with you again
The pen seems to move on its own
Across the paper seeds are sown
Of new adventures yet to take
And promises you’ve yet to make

Before you know what’s happening
The humming rhyme begins to sing
And everything you thought you knew
Evaporates like morning dew
So with a sigh you press your luck
You must contend or else get stuck
Therefore surrender’s emanate
Write it all down or you’ll forget

The Wall

Bricks of pain and disappointment are glued together with thick layers of betrayal. Deep wounds heal over as an impenetrable scar. The impermeable plastic of recognizance dissolves every connection. A protective force field emanates beyond the fortified structure.

Where does beauty lie? How can passion take hold? There are no boundaries to abandonment or borders in vulnerability. Where there is no room for chaos, there is no place for freedom.

Harsh, hard, cold, unfeeling, these are not the man I know. Calm, caring, patient, compassionate, these decorate your soul. But there is distance beyond the surface. And a stone occupies the core. Not a rock, but a gem, shimmering and brilliant in the light.

I’m obsessed and addicted to the wonder that extends beyond my grasp. Bars of fear keep me contained. The past has dug a trench around my future. So I wait and watch helplessly as your sphere glides beyond mine, fading into the distance.

Is there really no hope for intimacy? Why would such a rare and precious possibility be discarded? Explore new realms of the unknown. Engage the livelihood of risk and danger. Enter the sweet seduction of blessed youth and fervent nature. Give me love. Give me loss. Give me life beyond the wall.

The Door

Why would I want to walk through another open door?
I know there’s a trap door behind it.
As soon as I walk through I fall through the floor.
And I am so tired of falling.

But the promise of new life keeps spurring me on.
I continue to hope when all hope is gone.
I believe there’s a blessing to be found someday.
I can’t keep on living unless I live by faith.

Why do I ignore when opportunity knocks
if I truly believe I will find it?
I’m not able to break through the series of locks
when I hear opportunity calling.

But the light of a new day keeps shining through
and igniting desire for what I might do.
Somewhere a bright future is waiting for me.
So in my dark hour I will wait and believe.

Why am I reaching for another door knob?
Experience says I can’t turn it.
There is no way I can finish the job
while disappointment has me stalling.
But the voice of a new song keeps singing to me
a sweet inspiration of all I can be.
No looking back, put the past in its place.
Don’t rely on your own strength, rely upon grace.

Why should I pass through limited restrictions
when there’s nothing to be gained by it?
I admit I’m confused by such contradictions.
Access is not obtained by revolving.

But the peace in my soul keeps overflowing.
And the love I’ve been shown is what keeps me going.
To be helpful and needed is all I’m looking for.
So without hesitation let’s proceed to the door.

Ride the Wave

Overcome mediocrity
You can ride the wave
Make the wave
Or be swept away by the wave

This is what gets me jazzed
Paving the way of the future
Setting a new precedent
Forming the prototype
Molding the model
Forward thinking

Dare to be different
Embrace the unknown
Step out of the box
Go beyond the absurd and unrealistic
Dream big
Enter an unestablished era
Break free from conventional methods
Lead the curve of transition

I’m right at the cusp of a complete breakthrough
I can feel it in every ounce of my being
It’s so exciting
And I am looking forward to the ride

My Desire

This I pray
Give me strength for another day
Re-build my confidence by showing me the areas where I excel
And reassuring me when I fail
That I’m the child whom You will always love no matter how many times I fall
However many tears I cry from weary eyes or broken heart, You’ve seen them all
Help me not be timid or afraid
But filled with Your grace

The one thing that I need now at the end of my rope
Hope
Embers may seem to be dying, but they keep the fire in my soul alive
Somehow I still manage to survive
It must be Your love

That’s all I can think of
Fill my mind with You
Make me a reflection of all that is pure, holy and true
May I be faithful and grateful to the end
Amen

The Last Slice

Lips break around sharp curves
as the moisture leaks from the undeserved
intensity that can hardly wait
to seal the watermelon's fate
The Last Slice

Me

I won’t take it On blind faith
I don’t care Who says it always has to be this way
I won’t follow The sheep herd
I don’t care Where they are
Where they’re going Or where they were
I won’t take the time To understand
I don’t care What they want or what they’re trying to demand
I won’t give them What they expect - I don’t care
What things I haven’t gotten to Or finished yet
My passion - My standard
My chastisement - My reward
My freedom - My pursuit
My morale - My virtue
You can’t take me - You can’t make me
I’m not like you - I won’t try to be
I gotta take each step in the light of love
I gotta heed the voice only I know of
I gotta stay true to myself and what I believe
That’s what’s makes me
Me

CMF

Calling me out of the desert
Holding out new life to me
Risking my foolish behavior
In searching for who I might be
Sealed in Your love
Torn by this world
Is it for everyone
Except for this girl

Maybe I’ll arrive
Almost been there before
Reaching for the sky
I’m believing for more
Even while I’m lost in the thorns

Forget what lies behind
Embrace what lies in store
Open up your eyes
Look for a miracle
Anything is possible

ADL

After the sun sets
Beyond the horizon
And the wind dies down
Blowing no more
Calm is the ocean
Down at the end of the shore
Casually lapping
Dancing forever more

Evening is here now
Far away is the dawn
Endlessly in motion
From then and for now on
Gone is the laughter
How it echoed in the caves
Going are the seagulls
High above each seldom wave

In and out of darkness
Jumping with each sound
Is the miniature river
Just barely on the ground
Keeping with the rhythm
Low is the rumbling tune
Killing the bright loudness
Left from the afternoon

Perfect People

Quit looking at your weakness
take your strengths into account
Quit taking them for granted
now it’s time to live them out
There is always someone better
and there’s always someone worse
We’re all at different levels
that’s what makes our lives diverse
We are working toward improvement
as a divine plan’s unfurled
You’d think it would be obvious
there are no perfect people in this world

You Move Me

You came up behind me
Put your hand on my shoulder
Like no time had passed
Though we’re sixteen years older – now
Chalk it to bad timing
To fate or destiny
A novel romance
That’s completely escaped me – somehow
One look in your eyes
My thoughts are compromised
A hunger and yearning
Desperately discerning
A bit disconcerting, unrealized
One touch upon my skin
Gives way to what’s within
Crying anxiously
For your warmth inside me
A passionate plea, begins
You move me without saying a word
You speak to me though no voice is heard
You remind me, like the passage of time
There’s no boundary for the scene in my mind
Please come back and make
My dream become my reality

Breathe

Each day I breathe
Breathe in, breathe out
Inhale the Spirit
Exhale my doubt

Oh what a great
Constant reminder
Of whom I’m in
And who I am under

Each day I breathe
Breathe out, breathe in
Inhale Your love
Exhale my sin

Body

Human Unit
Often called living
A mental creation
Physical formation
Works as a building
Structure

Is Your Love

Softer than a whisper, You call my name to me
Brighter than a glimmer, shining on the blue sea
Warmer than the sunlight, cooler than the moon glow
Older than all of time, newer than a virgin snow
Is Your love, is Your love, is Your love for me

More welcoming than winter’s bliss
to see Your face smiling at me
Much sweeter than a summer’s kiss embracing for eternity
Is Your love, is Your love, is Your love for me

Smoother than the stillness, You consume my last breath
Bigger than the emptiness, absolutely endless
Higher than my song will rise, truer than I’ll ever show
Clearer than expansive skies, greater than I’ll ever know
Is Your love, is Your love, is Your love for me

Unholy Trinity

My body’s trying to kill me
Tries to put me under
The flesh is barely breathing
But it still roars like thunder

My mind is trying to blight me
Tries to make me blunder
Doubts rise up within me
Causing me to wonder

My soul’s trying to steer me
Tries to be a blind guide
Desires compete intensely
Sending me on a wild ride

But my spirit tries to still me
Tries to calm me inside
So this unholy trinity
Can’t steal my peace and quiet

I'll Keep You in My Heart

You think no one understands
the pain you’re going through
but I have walked that road before
I have been there too
And I know you’ll never make it
if you stand out on your own
but there’s a friend calling to you
You don’t have to walk alone

You pretend to be happy
and you say you’re doing fine
but I can see your misery
by the tears you leave behind
I recognize your anger
and I’ve felt your emptiness
But there’s a friend who can fill your heart
if you would just confess
And every time I think of you
I say another prayer
that one day I will see you and
find Jesus living there

So I’ll keep you in my heart
and I will pray for you
because I love my Savior
and I know you need Him too
You don’t have to wait another day
He’ll meet you where you are
So until you give your life away
I’ll keep you in my heart

Where Your Heart Is

I lived in a place called denial, unwilling to face
the truth, angered, frustrated and broken
not knowing what I should do. I kept running around
in circles, thinking I could if I tried
long enough, hard enough, maybe
I wouldn’t be living a lie. I knew if I just worked harder
someday I’d finally arrive. If only my resolve
were stronger, I’d do more than merely survive.

But the dream I was eagerly chasing
seemed further and further away.
Life’s too demanding, the doors were all slamming each day.
I died in pity and sorrow, eventually losing control.
The grip I thought I had mastered
actually never did hold. Not one single ounce
of compassion, not even a small drop of love
only my selfish ambition – is all that I had plenty of.
Purely out of desperation, I cried out to You for help.
I need to learn to let go of the fear
and stop thinking of only myself.

Please teach me how to be patient.
Please show me what I must do
to leave the cares of this world far behind
and instead only seek after You.

For where your heart is, there your treasure lies
and the truth lives deep within your life
and there is no way to disguise what’s real deep inside.
There is no reason for being, apart from receiving
Your love, so I’ll step out in faith believing
that in You I’m more than enough.
For where Your heart is, that’s where my treasure lies
and Your truth lives, revealed within my life.
And there is no way to hide what I now realize.
Love is where Your heart is.

More Than Enough

I am Your poetry. Lord, write Your Word in me
until I’m a perfect reflection of you.
I am Your own design. Lord, live Your life through mine
until I’ve finished all You’d have me to do.
I am Your piece of art. Lord, break my world apart
until I’m willing to humbly bow.
I am Your tapestry. Lord, weave Your will in me
until I have what You have for me now.
I am Your jar of clay. Lord, mold me in Your way
until I serve the use for which I was made.
I am Your precious jewel. Lord, use me as Your tool
to shine Your holy light into this dark place.
But how can I shine Your light if I hide in the dark?
I can’t share Your love if I won’t share my heart.
It’s a mystery. I know You made me.
So why is it that’s not enough,
when it’s always been more than enough?
I have what You have for me.

PS-4

Answer me when I call to You
Be merciful and hear my prayer
Give me relief from my distress
Oh mighty God, I know You’re there

Other men turn glory to shame
They seek delusions for so long
But I pursue beauty and truth
And turn to You to right what’s wrong

In your anger do not sin
Be silent and search your heart

My heart is filled with greater joy
Than when new grain and wine abound
Because Your light shines down on me
And Your goodness in me is found

Lord, You alone will keep me safe
I worship You down on my knees
Since You have numbered all my days
I will lie down and sleep in peace

Reason

Give me a reason to seek love – to embrace life
Give me a meaning for my words to make sense
And not merely babble dribbling from my hand

Give me a chance – to be alive – to be free
Give me a moment to breathe in the air
And not merely exist but to thrive

Give me a melody – to dance and to sing
Give me your blessing to be who I was made to be
And not merely a carbon-copy image of expectation

Give me a desire to long for and aspire to
So that I may be no longer lost in a field of possibilities

For the Moment

Shaken, but not stirred
Hazy, but not blurred
Keep sight of the vision
For you’re on a mission

Know it or not
Each action and thought
Is another step taken
In the life you’re makin’

So fall, but get up
Feel anger and love
Embrace every quotient
And live for the moment

Unacceptable

I’m not good enough for you
You don’t like me the way I am
But I need you to approve
So I’ll prove to you I can
Be exceptional
Beautiful in your eyes
Undeniable
Since I would rather die
Than be unacceptable

You tell me I’m okay
But actions speak louder than words
You continue to pull away
And rejection is all I’ve heard
So I’ll starve or I’ll bleed
Do whatever I need
To control the hurt raging inside of me
All the pain and the fear
In my eyes is unclear
I turn away so you don’t see

I’m not good enough for you
You don’t like me the way I am
But I need you to approve
So I’ll prove to you I can
Be exceptional
Beautiful in your eyes
Undeniable
Since I would rather die
Than be unacceptable

Ambassador in Chains

Tear me down.
Whittle me away
until all that remains
is an ambassador in chains.

The life that I live is not my own.
The place I reside is not my home.
The sun in the sky is not my light.
The darkness that falls is not my night

I live to glorify and praise
the Lord on high. I walk by Your grace.
I seek Your face. It is my guide.
Surrounded by love is where I abide.

I stretch out my hands and lay down my life.
I surrender my weakness, exchanged for Your might.
I die to desires to live in Your truth.
I take up my cross and follow You.

So tear me down.
Whittle me away
until all that remains
is an ambassador in chains.

Just as the Ocean

Too much commotion
Raging inside
Just as the ocean
Wrestles the tide

Too many choices
I need to make
Well-meaning voices
Speak each mistake

I’m too weak to say no
I’m too strong to let go
I’m too tired to press on
Yet still filled with passion

I’ll follow my dreams
Where e'r they may lead
I’ll trust and believe
You’ll meet my need

You guide each motion
I reach for more
Just as the ocean
Reaches the shore

Free

I’ve been alone
I’ve felt uncertain
All on my own
Behind a curtain
Hidden away
Hidden from view
Fallen from grace
Denying the truth

Bring me back to who I am
Bring me back to who I am in You
In the presence of Your love
There is nothing to fear
There is nothing to do
Just be me
Just believe
Just turn on the light
and shine out to the darkness

Just be you
Just be true
Unleash your inner
Calling to greatness
You’re free

Dream

Please, don’t take away my dream
I know that it may seem
like it’s not very much at all
but it’s all that’s left of me
So please, don’t take away my song
I’ll sing it all day long
and hold on to the words as truth
even if I’m wrong

I know there will be a brighter tomorrow
that will transcend my current sorrow
The sun is shining just over the horizon
I have to believe it
And if I’m able to look back someday
and regret my choices made along the way
I’ll be able to see beyond my guilt and shame
At least that’s what I pray

But my faith will have to be enough for now
to find a way to awaken from this dream somehow
And to keep me depending on the promise of love
for the ever-illusive life I’m dreaming of
But it’s all I have right now
So don’t take my dream away

Snowfall

Admiring the silver snow
From safe inside my heated home
Dismissing reasons for to roam
Content to view from my window
The shimmering sparkles at a glance
As tiny ballerinas dance
Across the stage of artic ice
Yet every season has its price

The roads are treacherous to brave
The highways are as sheets of glass
Our strong heroes are out to save
And subject to each freezing blast
So pray protection if you will
Because the snow is falling still

Rain

I drink you in like autumn rain and feel my pulse begin to shutter
My mind explodes with images mere words are unfit to utter
The heart can feel what it can’t explain
The body holds what it can’t contain
As the world halts momentarily to allow my passing dream to flutter

Burning

Burn my world with a blazing fire
Lay waste to all I would desire
Consume my dreams with your insolence
And dare not come to my defense
Destroy my heart with stinging words
And give no thought to what I’ve heard

For I’ll recover, I will heal
From every kind of an ordeal
There’s no flame that can burn me out
Or fill my life with fear and doubt
My dreams are bigger than discouragement
For my hopes aren’t based on an event
So burn away until you tire
I’ll fight back by burning higher

Suffering?

I often wonder why Your people have to suffer.
I find myself questioning time and time again.
Is this the best that the world has to offer?
Will this season of tribulation ever end?
Do You hear the crying of Your children?
Do You see the pain within their lives?
If it’s true that You can see and hear them
how could You ever bear to step aside?
Are You really in control of all things?
Even when Your people disobey?
You know the weaknesses of human beings.
Can’t You keep our hearts from all going astray?

Seeking after our own desperate desires
hurts ourselves and others more than we realize.
But if You have the power to inspire
certainly You could abolish the sin You so despise.
Hurting people hurting other people.
Does this vicious cycle have no end?
Is there no chance we could ever be peaceful?
Or are we doomed to run this cycle once again?
There is so much trepidation in this land
to contemplate it takes more strength than I have got.
But I know You know I don’t understand.
I guess that’s why You’re God and I am not.

Hope

Fresh resilience
Pink blossoms
Peaking through the frost

A Way Back into Love

You wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t hear
The signs were confusing, words were unclear
Our signals got crossed more than a time or two
We gambled and lost, with nothing else I could do

I locked up my heart and threw away the key
Now everyone’s wondering what’s wrong with me
I’m not going crazy; I’m just out of luck
I need to find a way back into love

I heard what You said, but I wouldn’t obey
I saw Your direction, but I went my own way
You called my name; I turned away from You
Left unprotected, what else could I do?

I locked up my heart and threw away the key
Now everyone’s wondering what’s wrong with me
I’m not going crazy, I just feel stuck
I need to find a way back into love
I need to find a way back into love

Regreted

Blank check
Sudden lack of conscience
Shopping spree

Regreting

Creamy sweetness
Intensely devoured –
Brain freeze

Regret

Regret:
Not turning around
When called after

Live for You

I will live for You when
Your power comes upon me
and Your Spirit lives within
I will wait for You
help me be patient until then
I will worship You
and I’ll show the world Your love
when I get confirmation and direction from above

And if I can deceive myself for just a minute more
You’ll see that I will live for You
much better than before
‘Cause Your Spirit does live in me
and Your power is released
as I act upon my faith
while I’m waiting on my knees

And Your love is all around me if I’m open to receive
For Your grace will only operate as I choose to believe
But if I’m always hiding behind living for You when
If I won’t live for You now, I won’t live for You then

Dirty

I’m dirty and unworthy
You don’t want me
So just keep walking on by
Unaccepted is expected
No excuses, there’s no need to lie

You’re just better
Got it all together
Don’t admit or say it
I can see it in your eyes

But I’m guessin’
There’s confession
That needs to take place
Somewhere deep within your life

Your reflection of perfection
Hides the ugliness inside
Rationalize, don’t sympathize
Your inward mess is easy to hide

But I’m dirty and unworthy
You don’t want me
So just keep walking on by

Springtime

Palpable moisture
Chill in the air
Twitching sheets

Behold

She died today
We knew it was coming
Still that doesn’t make for an easier pain
Everyone prayed, but
nothing seemed to happen
I don’t understand why it turned out this way
So I stood by faith grieving and disillusioned
And I asked the Lord, “What do You have to say?”

And He said, “Behold, I do a new thing.
You’d better hold on because life’s gonna change.
You need to know, I’m all that matters.
It’s time to let go, nothing else stays the same.”

He left today
She didn’t see it coming
with bills left to pay and three kids to raise
He simply walked out and left her broken-hearted
I don’t understand
Life shouldn’t happen this way
She was left alone confused and frustrated
So I asked the Lord, “What do You have to say?”

And He said, “Behold, I do a new thing.
You’d better hold on because life’s gonna change.
You need to know, I’m all that matters.
It’s time to let go, nothing else stays the same.”

Death or destruction
divorce or despair
sooner or later
we all end up there
Expected or sudden
we experience loss
How long we linger
in pain is up to us
A new beginning
awaits us each day
Just ask the Lord
and again He will say

He'll say, “Behold, I do a new thing.
You’d better hold on because life’s gonna change.
You need to know, I’m all that matters.
It’s time to let go, nothing else stays the same.”

In life there’s one thing that’s for certain
We live in a world that won’t last
We’re all chasing the wind and shifting shadows
And God promises - this too will pass.

Elephant

concentrating
on billowing clouds
images form

Motorin

Key in the ignition
Spiritual journey begins
Stuck in reverse

Wonderland

We’re all busy here in Wonderland
Running in circles here in wonderful Wonderland
Digging in as if we’re staying don’t we understand
We’re all wandering through Wonderland

Well, we fell through a dark hole one day when we were born
And we entered a new world that was not our own
So we journey through the land looking to get back home
We’re all wandering through Wonderland

We meet a lot of crazy characters along the way
And learn of all the crazy things we do from day to day
We’re unsure of where we go, but we’re not here to stay
We’re all wandering through Wonderland

Well one day we’re gonna wake and we’ll be home again
But we’ll remember adventures we thought would never end
So keep learning and exploring – until then
We’re all wandering through Wonderland

We’re all busy here in Wonderland
Running in circles here in wonderful Wonderland
Digging in as if we’re staying don’t we understand
We’re all wandering through Wonderland

Spring

shimmering willows
shedding the dew droplets
as they weep

Picnic

Glorious display
Intricacies of the meadow
A single blanket

Flow Over Me

May Your peace flow over me
May Your love flow over me
May Your joy flow over me
So to Your people a blessing I will be

May Your compassion flow through me
May Your mercy flow through me
May Your goodness flow through me
So to Your people a blessing I will be

May Your kindness flow over me
May Your rightness flow over me
May Your beauty flow over me
So to Your people a blessing I will be

Landscape

rows of concrete
towering over
rows of daffodils

Branches

shadows dance
in the distance
like wind-blown trees

Beauty

There comes a moment in every life where breathing ceases and thinking halts – overcome by beauty, majesty, and joy – I pray
your life contains many of these.

Assistance

Christianity isn’t for the weak-willed who can’t get by on their own without something to lean on. Christianity is for those who are smart enough to realize they won’t get very far on their own and are humble enough to admit a need for assistance.

Is Your Love

Softer than a whisper, You call my name to me
Brighter than a glimmer, shining on the blue sea
Warmer than the sunlight, cooler than the moon glow
Older than all of time, newer than a virgin snow
Is Your love, is Your love, is Your love for me

More welcoming than winter’s bliss to see
Your face smiling at me
Much sweeter than a summer’s kiss embracing for eternity
Is Your love, is Your love, is Your love for me

Smoother than the stillness, You consume my last breath
Bigger than the emptiness, absolutely endless
Higher than my song will rise, truer than I’ll ever show
Clearer than expansive skies, greater than I’ll ever know
Is Your love, is Your love, is Your love for me

Envy's Deception

Red and green the flowers bloom
Envying the silver moon
Dimly the moon glows at night
Envying the sun’s bright light
Violently the sun’s flares burst
Envying the peaceful earth
Locked on its axis the earth spins
Envying the free oceans
The oceans foam with every breeze
Envying the stable trees
High above the old trees tower
Envying the simple flower
So heed this cycle’s proclamation
Envy averts appreciation

Blessings

In this world full of compromise
Blessings are often in disguise
They come hidden in the day-to-day
Where mundane chores get in the way
They wear masks of broken dreams
Where disbelief leaves them unseen

Truly, hope and joy abound
And yet they can only be found
When I choose to love somebody else
Instead of thinking of myself

So the next time you wonder
Where your blessing might be
Take a good look around at all those you see
And remember as you gaze into their eyes
There goes another blessing in disguise

I Laugh

I laugh as my heart sighs
I laugh as my soul cries
I sigh as my heart breaks
I cry as my soul aches
I laugh to hide the pain
I laugh but all in vain
I hide my silent tears
I cry, yet no one hears
I laugh, but as I do
You laugh while crying, too

Notebooks

Endless notebooks filled with meaningless words
Lost in isolation – deserted and abandoned
Neglect eating away at them like cancer on the page
No hope of resurrection
No chance for being useful and productive
Nothing to look forward to – but the dust
Collecting on the shelf

Poetic Presents

I would not trade for my sanity
This precious gift bestowed on me
To write the poem in verse and rhyme
To kiss the curse of counting time
Emotions flow through what I pen
A story told without an end
Glean what you must, say what you will
My hand continues writing still

Related

I see your world through my eyes
I hear your decisions through my understanding
I feel your pain with my emotions
I know your desires with my demanding
I try to be great with my forethought
I try to relate but I cannot
I am bound by my own limitations
I am found in the realm of sensations

The Ego

Let go of the ego, it’s holding you back
It only knows loneliness, heartache and lack
“Never Enough” is its battle cry
Let go of the ego; the ego must die

Let go of the ego, it’s trying to kill you
It beckons disaster and attracts dirt like glue
“You’re nothing without me” is its loathsome lie
Let go of the ego; the ego must die

Let go of the ego, it’s not the real you
It holds conditions based on what you do
“I’m how you earn love” is its final try
Let go of the ego; the ego must die

Vanity

I use you
To gain acceptance and approval
I abuse you
To see myself as gaining power
I refuse you
The privilege of doing the same

Volley

Sand scorches bare feet
Sun beats down on tanned bodies
Once in position
Game begins
Initial stroke
Returned
Body sacrifice
Retrieval successful
Sand sticks to sweaty skin
No distraction
Up for spike
Received
Situation reversed
Lean muscles tighten
Sudden movement
Swift and smooth
Preparation
Impact
Irretrievable
Score

- dedicated to Forrest Haack

Flying

You hold me up. You lift me high
You set me straight and teach me to fly
You make me soar on eagle’s wings
Look at me now, I’m flying
All of the struggles and all of the storms
Are the very things that make me strong
Every heartache and every hurt
Make me rely evermore on Your word
So I raise my hands, and You lift my face
You breathe on me, and I’m taken away
You make me soar on eagle’s wings
Look at me now, I’m flying

Descending

The spring rain falls
Like drops of heaven licking my skin
The warm wind calls
Like music flowing from within
The lovers swoon
Like the tides sweeping the shore
The flowers bloom
Like paint spilled on the floor
The branches sway
Like a ballet dance
I’m blown away
By the romance

PS-5

To You I pray
I cry for help
Lord, please save me
From myself

Expectation
For my request
In Your house, Lord
To be Your guest

Spread protection
By Your mercy
Make straight Your way
Before me

Believe

All holy scriptures, regardless of religion, boil down to one simple point: that we believe. What we believe determines what we think about, how we act, how we react, and how we perceive the world around us. Belief is at the root of all thoughts and behaviors. Everything we do or avoid doing is because we believe the action will give us pleasure or cause us pain. Everything we think or feel is based on what we believe to be true at any given moment. If I believe a friend is ignoring me or rejecting me, I will feel hurt. If I believe I am right about a certain point, then I will think the opposing view is wrong. Anything we do, think or feel can get traced back to what we believe.

Watch

God loves me, and He is on my side. I may not get everything I want, but I have everything I need. My situation may be bleak, but I know He watches over me all the time. I can keep a positive attitude through the most difficult circumstances when I keep my focus on praising God and thanking Him for giving me life.

De Nile

Cutting through layers of rock and sand
The river manipulates the land
Foraging onward in ceaseless motion
The maddening current of constant commotion
Obsessive intention of reaching the ocean
The passion and fervor of roaring devotion
There’s no containing the chaos at hand
The water is subject to no one’s command

Carving the hillside as slick as a knife
That’s how determined, controlled and precise
Raging, the tyrant advances each stride
That’s where the danger lies cut open wide
Sliced with a vengeance fuming from inside
That’s when the flowing creates the divide
Causing confusion, frustration and strife
That’s what denial can do to your life

Rated R for Sexual Implications

Tonight

Warm hands on soft skin
Stirs passion deep within
Inhibitions melt away
Breathing begins to accelerate
Pulses quicken – cheeks flush
Feel the full body rush
Pulling closer, tangled flesh
Rendering restraint useless
Giving in is on the brink
Before there’s even time to think
The head gets light, the pants get wet
This is a night you won’t forget

Hearts and Flowers

Beauty buys me roses, kisses keep me warm
Rhythm flows inside of me, but nothing calms the storm
Sweetness cloaks my innocence, softness soothes my soul
Sugary sincerities superficially console

Flattery is deafening, stares – they pierce life knives
Caresses grate insatiably through intermingled lives
Music lingers mindlessly, the motions made are clear
Melodies roam shamelessly, though none may enter here

Who will wait wistfully, what will win out
Why wonder woefully, withstand your doubt
Love is not the knowing, I know all too well
Life is in the going, I’m going to tell

Frequenters may flock to me with no intent to stay
Beauty buys me roses, but roses fade away

Basic

Alright, Baby, can’t deny everything forever
Getting higher is just killing loathsome memories
not overtly propagating quintessential release
So temper useless vigor without x-ing your zeal

Expectation

When you expect too little, you usually get it.

For a Butterfly

Oh so sweet and oh so shy
Like a butterfly caressing the air with silken wings
That flutters away upon approach
Best to be admired from afar
Than to risk disturbance
Than to cause retreat
What a lonely life it must be
For a butterfly

A Tender Age

A tender age indeed it is when first we’re born to this wondrous world
Upon another our lives hinge, completely dependent on
a mother’s love
A tender age we grow through as our surroundings are explored
Danger’s faced at every turn, it’s a miracle we survive childhood
A tender age entered into, impressionable through the learning curve
Where hearts are broken and spirits bend without a conscious awareness given
A tender age throughout our lives with errors and
detours and milestones
Accomplishments accentuate the life moments we hold most dear
A tender age it is indeed when departing this world we are
We realize that all through our lives how we’re dependent on another’s love

More Than Words

Poetry is nakedness, transparency, vulnerability -
otherwise, it is just words.

A Fleeting Moment

It stays with you for the rest of your life
Like sweat lingering on the skin or the smell of sweet perfume hovering in the air
To see death, to feel the agonizing sorrow
To know the cause was the loss of a dream, an identity
Your own destiny would be interwoven with the panic and frenzy
Of buzzing busy people scurrying about in their imaginary world
If you let it, if you don’t take a stand and fight for meaning, for purpose, for passion
If you sell out your soul to useless expectations, time honored declarations
Still reeking from the spilled blood of young, innocent men trying to think for themselves
How dare they? To press beyond what’s known. Who were they?
The inner child within each of us who still believes won’t give up
For they know that life is a fleeting moment
And there’s still a chance as long as there is yet another breath to take
Too naive to realize, to visualize, to see any insurmountable obstacles
For if there is no second glance we must seize while there’s still a chance
The day is breaking like a sheet of glass, shattered, irreparable, undeniable
There is but one day at a time, there is but one life that is mine
The sun will set and then the day is gone
Make haste! Make haste! The cry is made
Forget romance and serenade the beauty of the truth we all receive
We’re here today and gone tomorrow; embrace the agonizing sorrow
Like sweat lingering on the skin or the smell of perfume in the air
Death will encompass every life
So live this moment before ‘tis night

Trying

If things keep getting worse the harder you try, then maybe
you should quit trying so hard.

Collection

At least I have everything in one place. Now I just have to make sure I don't forget where I put it.

Singing

I don't sing because I'm happy, I'm happy because I sing.

Hope

Hope is the acceptance of present reality
not the expectation of future wish fulfillment.

Really

Nothing is real, nothing is true, nothing is good
except for that which is.
And who am I to claim to know the difference?

The End of the Road

The pursuit of happiness is a journey without a destination.
Surrender is the only true path to freedom.

Say It

Not everything I say needs to be profound
so long as I say it profoundly.

To Fly

I am born anew
Each morning as I wake
And when I rise to greet the day
I spread my wings to fly

To Be

The best way to be unproductive is to be indecisive.

Creation

People create God in their own image because it's the furthest possible extent of our limited thinking.

Be

You know most intimately who you are when you can do nothing.

Invited

Inspiration only enters when the gate is open.

Grasping

With hands wide open, is how you lived
With hands wide open, is how you died
Now here I stand faced with the option
To close my hands or leave them open

Meaning

The purpose of my life is to contribute my strengths and gifts to the community in which I exist.

Spirit

Spirituality is what remains in your hands when you let go of everything else.

Urine Test

Either way, the facts are acceptable
Thougths to the positive are fearful yet stimulating
Negative results would be a relief but also a disappointment
My stomach is upset from nerves, or not
Stress over the stress of more possible stress
So much depends upon such a small stream

Revealed

Revel in your weaknesses for they amplify your strengths.

Your perception is your reality. However,
your perception is not reality for anyone else.