I'm the only one who stays home alone on Friday nights
I'm the only one who does laundry all day and still has dirty clothes all over the floor
I'm the only one who spends an hour cooking only to have no one be hungry for chicken
I'm the only one who drives all over town yet never goes anywhere
I'm the only one who buys toilet paper by the gallon
I'm the only one who falls asleep in the shower
I'm the only one who finds lipstick in the dryer
I'm the only one who loses the refrigerator
I'm the only one who forgets my own birthday
I'm the only one who dreds eating another peanut butter and jelly sandwich
I'm the only one who sits on the front porch in the rain
I'm the only one who pretends I can fly
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