Self-Portrait

She looks up with those mournful eyes
Big and blue, they hypnotize
Not showing age, they still are wise
Filled with longings realized

Her porcelain face a painted dare
Framed by her dark, wavy hair
Enlightened smile brightens the air
Such dignified beauty’s rare

She glides along on gazelle’s feet
Her frame delicate and sleek
Long, shapely legs eventually meet
At the hot and humid suite

Her words spill ice through lips of fire
Making every moment dire
To gaze on her, I’ll never tire
She is my one, true desire

Maybe

Maybe yes
It all depends on the question
But there certainly is room for a positive reply, would be my guess
Oh, and did I forget to mention
That I really like the way your shirt matches your eyes and the leaves on my dress
I hope you think we would look good together as I try to get your attention
And telepathically confess
It’s my suggestion

But I can’t help it that you’re so attractive to me
So
I hike my skirt up a little bit, subtly, and not so subtly
Flip my hair as a part of the show
And spill my coffee

Hit it with my elbow
How embarrassing
But at least you notice and look at me as you turn to go
And I turn my maybe yes into a maybe
No

Culture

Green door slams
Voice booms – loud
Ears close
Hands flail
Just like his father

Metamorphosis

My body is my cocoon
And inside my body
Is my people soup

The caterpillar
That I was
Before my life began
Has melted down
Into a conglomerate
Of character
And personality
This is
The person I truly am

My soup is
Transitioning
And reforming me
Into who I will be
For the rest of
Eternity

This human journey
I am on is
Transforming me
Into a beautiful butterfly

Once I break free
From this
Earthen container
I will spread my wings
And take to flight

Mingling

Misplaced among the meadow of golden halos
A sea of roses with a single thorn
Taken aback by the beauty and splendor
Admiring the surreal ambiance

An ink blot on a finely pressed blouse
Spinning silk – dancing in the light
Absorbing heaven – soaked in radiance
Emitting confusion and astonishment

Never Alone

My heart wants to do what You tell me to
But I’m so afraid because I feel alone
An unmarked trail leaves me unsure
You lead me somewhere I’ve never gone
My heart races within, outside I’m shaking
It doesn’t make sense or compute in my mind
Experience says nothing will happen
There’s nowhere to go and nothing to find
But still I press on searching for something
I’ve never seen, and I’ve never known
Only believe, You keep reassuring
You have a place for me to call home
Others may mock and tell me I’m crazy
Say that I’m wrong and falling behind
They don’t see what I hear or taste what I’m feeling
They’re all a mess, the blind leading the blind
I confess my doubt and seek Your healing
Forgive where I’ve failed, strengthen where I’ve grown
Remind me of faith, restore my conviction
There’s nothing to fear, I’m never alone.

Loss

You said to quit but I don’t want to
You said to leave but I don’t want to
You said to stop but I don’t want to
You said to grieve but I don’t want to
You said to let go but I don’t want to
You said to move on but I don’t want to
You said to have hope but I don’t want to
You said to be strong but I don’t want to
You said to believe but I don’t want to
You said to forgive but I don’t want to
You said to dream but I don’t want to
You said to live but I don’t want to

Hopeless?

What is a girl to do
When the one she loves
Becomes the one she hates
Hurt and anger
Burning bridges
Trailing ashes
Along the way

Fair Warning

Don’t touch me, I’m poisonous
Don’t come too close or you’ll turn to dust
Don’t like me or try to care
I’m warning you: Better Beware
Don’t pull me in or try to hold
You’ll just get burned by the bitter cold
Don’t think I’ll change or turn around
I’ll dig my claws in and drag you down
Don’t chase my trail or try to find me
After I’m gone, leaving you behind me
Be glad you’re free and breathing air
And only slightly worse for the ware
Those who cross my path incinerate
Better hurry now or that’ll be your fate
Don’t hesitate and don’t look back
You’ll be too late and fall off track
Hear what I say, here’s what to do
Better run away, I’m warning you

I’m Fine

I say I’m fine because that’s what I’m s’posed to say
But inside I’m dyin’, and I don’t want to feel this way
I want to explode all my pain on the world
There’s just too much pressure on this little girl

But what can I do? I don’t want to complain
But all this pretending is what drives me insane
I get disappointed, and I know it’s not fair
But holding it inside won’t help to clear the air
So instead I will sing a new song unto You
And I’ll simply believe You’ll tell me what to do

God, I’m bitter and jealous, feel like I always lose
Each decision is withered, so how can I choose?
I’m so anxious and angry and don’t even know why
Nothing ever gets better but I still have to try
How do I lay my burdens down instead of carrying them around?
No one wants to hear me gripe and complain, even when I say it all in Jesus’ Name.

But what can I do? I don’t want to spill words
That just cause more pain and cause even more hurt
My expectations aren’t met, and I know it’s not right
But it just makes things worse to hold it all inside
So instead I will sing a new song unto You
And I’ll simply believe You’ll tell me what to do

God, I’m bitter and jealous, feel like I always lose
Each decision is withered, so how can I choose?
I’m so anxious and angry and don’t even know why
Nothing ever gets better but I still have to try
How do I lay my burdens down instead of carrying them around?
No one wants to hear me gripe and complain, even when I say it all in Jesus’ Name.

So I say that I’m fine, there’s no more I can say
But inside I’m still cryin’, and I don’t want to feel this way

Enticement

Sing unto me from the depths of your soul
A song of inspiring melodies
Blended with sweetest of thy harmonies
Tunes unable of ever growing old
Fly in the freedom of liberty’s fold
Not written down and then given to me
But lingering on in my memory
You echo with an unwavering hold

The brightest day to the darkest night
Running in circles just like a lost child
Counting the teardrops that fall from my face
Enticing insanity calls forthright
Blazing temptation – let go and go wild
Shattering remnants of discarded faith

You Love Me

How can I trust You when I don’t know what’s going on?
How can I believe You when my whole life’s coming undone?
How can I love You when I’m in so much pain?
How can I rely on You when nothing ever seems to change?

There would be no need for trust if everything were known.
There’d be no reason to believe without some troubles of my own.
There would be no comforting if there were no pain.
There’d be no relying on if things all stayed the same.

I can trust You if I love You.
I can choose to believe.
I can rely on You for everything.
I can love You for You love me.

Worthwhile

Is it worth my time and waiting
Hoping for a chance at true love
Is it even worth debating
Or should it ever be thought of
Do my efforts all go to waste
Longing to finally be held
Do my actions proceed with haste
Or will passions eventually yield

Can a horse ever help but drink
Or an eagle dare to not fly
Can a rock float instead of sink
Or the sun stand still in the sky
So my heart demands an audience
To convince my will and conscience

Reminiscent

Clinging ever so desperately
Unwilling to look back
Unable to let go
Continually plagued with the ever-present question –
Why?
Never an answer
Never will there be
Only the vain comfort of
Knowing he once was
And the empty promise
Of everlasting
Still ringing true
Clearer than before
Causing her despondency and
Determination
As the photo remains
Clutched in her grasp

Living Thoughts

Though my routine may seem plain and days appear lack-luster
There’s beauty buried deep between the barriers I’m under
I’m not exempt from things I should or must or gotta do
But I make sure with each of them I let the good shine through
So anytime you’re tempted to give up, quit, or get bored
Acknowledge your iniquities and give them to the Lord
You’ll be amazed by how much lighter your burdens will be
Choose to decide it for yourself, don’t just take it from me

Gratitude

You get so caught up in what you have to do to survive
that you forget all about what you get to do to thrive
You don’t need to radically change your life
You just need to change you perception

Don’t wait until you have a million dollars to be happy
Be thankful for the ten bucks you’ve got, or
even for the ten cents you’ve got in some cases

If you are grateful for what you already have
you will be given more
If you are not faithful over the little you already have
you will not be given more

Whether you are hiding from your responsibilities
because you dread the work, or
making excuses for not doing what you know is right
or if you’re letting fear prevent you from
stepping out in faith

If you’re not trusting God
you’re not going to receive his blessings
You must first believe that you are all you need to be
To do what you are called to do
You must first believe that you can do it
Before you will ever see the fulfillment of
your dreams