Sunday, February 13, 2011
Why Not?
Why did I cry myself to sleep last night? Why would I be upset about having someone be willing to give me anything and willing to give up everything to be with me? Why do I so easily tire of the words, “I love you,” and why do they hold so little meaning for me? Why would I rather be poor and alone, destitute with desperation, than to accept the offer extended to me to be together? Why do I let the ones I love be far removed from me? Why do I not eagerly pursue them? Why do I let them slip further away? Why won’t I settle for the status quo and embrace going through the motions? Why am I so afraid of losing myself in them again?
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Because you are growing stronger and smarter. A man that wants to control you with material and emotional blackmail is not a man that loves you but a man that wants to use you. I've been going down this road over and over with my ex. How many times do you try and pretend and then let it go again before you stop doing it. I ask myself the same damn questions. I don't have all the things I had before but I have my soul and I'm getting back my self confidence so I can be available for REAL love when God brings it to me. You are never alone and God provides what you need if you are true to him and yourself.
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