Discovering the Sun

I was taught to believe nothing would ever change

Except for by some miracle things could possibly still get worse

I discovered “rock bottom” had further to fall

The concept of hope had no meaning at all

I saw others around me experiencing life

Nothing ever seemed to go wrong for them

I was bitterly jealous knowing they didn’t deserve it

Yet they got sunshine while I was stuck in a dark pit

I exhausted my options trying to figure things out

Looking for ways to alter my mood or my mind

I chased every pleasure that came into view

Whatever might numb my intense pain I would do

I had many a demon haunting me at night

And my days were troubled by the cares of this world

I had to eat and find shelter to survive

My most basic needs caused the most compromise

So forgive me if I tell your preachers to stuff it

I believe my experience over your stupid babble

Nothing you say can affect how I feel

I don’t need your religion, I need something real

If only I knew love could overcome fear

And that I can learn to love myself even if no one else does

Then maybe I could stand firm every time I want to run

It’s the only sure way to discover the sun